LIVE, LAUGH, and LOVE MUCH!!!

Remembering my brother

Some of you might not know, but I lost my brother due to Hepatitis C and alcohol abuse in early August, actually the day before my birthday, which made for a great birthday(not to mention that I was another year older.:)) Sometimes, when I have time to think about him and his situation, I think about the many things I would have done differently with him if I had to do it all over again, things that I wish I would have had the courage to do when he was alive. Now mind you, I know that everyone has their own way of doing things, and that people make their own choices, but sometimes you wonder if you could have been the one to help them to turn their life around, if you had just taken more steps to do so. If I had it to do all over again, I would:

Go and visit him more often.
Not get so mad when he didn't show up for family functions, and took them to him, instead of expecting him to have the willpower to show up.
Tell him I loved him every day, whether he was happy with me or not.
Go fishing with him, since it was his favorite thing.
Saw the signs, and helped him deal with his agony.
Looked over my anger at how he took care of himself and took more time to help him to do it right.
Tell him I forgive him for things he did when he was younger.
Take the time to actually spend some quality time with him and not just an hour here or there.
Tell him how much I appreciated the things he did for me when I was growing up, such as getting me out of my house and away from our mother during the summer.
Laughed with him more.
Sang with him more.
Walked with him more.
Took more trips to Heber Springs with him.
Told him what I was feeling, not holding back just because it might hurt his feelings.
Made him feel special.

These are just a few of the things I would have done. You would think I would have learned by now never to take people for granted, since losing both Mom and Dad at a young age, but when I look back on his situation, sometimes it seems as if that is what I did. Then other times, I look at it completely different. Sometimes I see that I was so afraid of any conflict that I was protecting myself by putting up those walls and shutting him out, so it wouldnt hurt so much when something DID happen to him. I was so wrong for doing that, but you can't take things back, and you can only move forward day by day. So, my promise to myself from now on is to let everyone in my life that I love and cherish know just how much they mean to me each time I get a chance. For you guys who read my blog, thank you for all you have done for me. Thank you for being my friend against all obstacles. Thank you for believing in me and hanging in there with me throughout the tough times in life. Thank you for hanging out with me when we were growing up, and giving me rides when I didnt have any and smelled like a big old ashtray from being in the house where both of my parents smoked inside. Thank you for being wonderful friends and loving me for who I am and who I was. I love you guys and I hope you all have a wonderful day!!! LOVE YOU!!!

What a Crazy Life

Hey everyone!!! Sorry that I dont have any photos up yet, but I will get them up as soon as I get a chance. Things are crazy here at the Hon Household lately, as the seasons are changing and moods change with the seasons. lol. We are all doing pretty well.. I am still going to college and working, but my work has changed. Still doing the social work/ psychotherapy thing, but my boss from Daysprings went out on her own, and I went with her, so the stress is virtually null and void compared to what it was. I do all of her billing and am learning a lot that I can use in my practice when I finally get out of school(whenever that is. lol..)
Lacey is getting older everyday, and she is now a teenager. This killed me when it finally happened, but then sometimes I look at her and can still see the cute little one whose grin could melt an iceberg. I am constantly reminded when I look at her to take all of the time that I can get with her, as I dont have very long that she will actually want to be around me.
I had to take her to the doctor yesterday, as she had some spots come up on her shoulder over the weekend. Staph has been going around the Jr. High, and I was like "OH NO!!!!" Luckily, it was just a case of shingles...... What in the world... I thought that Shingles was for old people, but apparently I was wrong. They can affect anyone who has had the chicken pox, and anyone who has not can contract chicken pox from Lacey... is that messed up or what?
She is in a lot of pain, but still able to go to school and still able to practice off season basketball. She is glad of this, since tryouts are next week, and she is really hoping she makes it. I am so lucky that she tries out for things. She tried out for cheerleading and drill team, but didn't make either one of them, but she kept on and didn't let it get her down. If I have taught her nothing else, at least I know that I have helped her with that.
That is always such a scary thing, hoping that you are teaching your kids right. To be honest with you, it scares me to death to think that one day she will have to be out there on her own and go off of what I have taught her. I hope that I have done a good job, as I have certainly tried very hard. I guess I will just have to wait and see. Hope you are all doing good and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kim

Missing My Kiddo

Hi everybody! If you are reading this, I will begin by apologizing for my lack of blogging skills. This will be my first attempt to try this. This week is band camp week for the Jr. High students here at Russellville schools... Yes. that is correct, my daughter Lacey is now in Jr. High, Eighth grade to be exact. If that doesnt make you feel a little old, I don't know what will. I was thinking about it the other day, and realized that we have been out of school ourselves for 15 years, and to me that just doesn't seem possible.

So, my Lacey is away at band camp, and I am not quite sure what to do with myself. I am so used to her being here to talk(or fight :) ) with me, that I am completely lost. I keep wondering what is going to happen when she actually goes away to college in a few years, and that is just what it is, a few years. She is almost 13, and I look at her and wonder where the time has gone. I just remind myself each day to cherish all of the time that I have left with her, and hope that I have taught her morals and values to carry her through the hard times in life. I will post some pics of her at band camp when she gets me some. Hope you all enjoy watching her grow like I do.